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John the Rabbit
Retold by Allison Cox
© 1994
I have the audience chant in response "Oh no!" as I sing of John's horrible smoking habits and "Oh yes!" as John the Rabbit kicks the habit. |
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Start with Refrain... |
(Singing Call)
John the Rabbit
Had a bad habit
John the Rabbit
Had a bad habit
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(Singing Response)
O-oh no!
O-oh no!
O-oh no!
O-oh no!
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He smokes a lot
Filtered or not
Puffs on cigars
Lungs filled with tar
He spits and chews
Tobacco Goo
Fingers have stains
Smokes like a train
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O-oh no!
O-oh no!
O-oh no!
O-oh no!
O-oh no!
O-oh no!
O-oh no!
O-oh no!
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(Repeat Refrain)
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Has yellow teeth
Black gums underneath
He always wheezed
Breath smelled like cheese
burned holes in his clothes
Stuffed up his nose
His eyes were bloodshot
Face like a walnut
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O-oh no!
O-oh no!
O-oh no!
O-oh no!
O-oh no!
O-oh no!
O-oh no!
O-oh no! |
If he lives past next fall
He'll be the sickest rabbit of all!
He'll be the sickest rabbit of all!
(I talk through this middle section of the tale)
But then one day, John decided he was lonely and went a' courtin'.
But all the girl rabbits said, "Ick! Get away from me.
You wheeze, you cough, you spit that goo!
And there's burn holes all over you!
Your teeth and fingers have yellow stains!
Your face is wrinkled, your eyes are veined.
You blow more smoke than chimneys do
and I can't even breathe around you.
I won't marry a rabbit who'll up and die,
'Cause he killed himself from tobacco-cide."
Well, this got John to thinkin'.
"I should quit any habit that is this stinkin'."
I don't want to spend the rest of my life
With lots of tobacco, but no wife!
So he went cold turkey. Just up and quit.
But here's what it took to kick the habit!
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New Refrain |
(Singing Call)
John the rabbit
He kicked the habit
John the rabbit
He kicked the habit
He bit his nails
Moved like a snail
Got in bad moods
Ate tons of food
Dreamed about smoking
Woke up from his choking
He snuck a few cigarettes |
(Singing Response)
O-oh yes!
O-oh yes!
O-oh yes!
O-oh yes!
O-oh yes!
O-oh yes!
O-oh yes!
O-oh yes!
O-oh yes!
O-oh yes!
O-oh yes! |
But he finaly did quit
And here's how he felt when he kicked the habit...
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(Repeat New Refrain)
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(Singing Call)
He's feeling better
That's when he met her
He smelled so clean
She said, "Your a dream"
Now he runs a mile
No coughin', just smiles
He's a changed rabbit
Since he's kicked the habit
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(Singing Response)
O-oh yes!
O-oh yes!
O-oh yes!
O-oh yes!
O-oh yes!
O-oh yes!
O-oh yes!
O-oh yes!
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Now he'll live past next fall
He may end up the oldest rabbit of all!
He may end up the oldest rabbit of all!
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